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My husband likes that I go to a playdate every week with other moms from our church. Our baby is three months so she is not doing much playing yet, but I do get to hangout with other people during the day besides her and observe how the older babies act. I think my husband is a little foggy on how playdates work. He probably thinks we set the babies down in a circle and they all play nice with no problems and the moms sit in a circle and talk until it is time to go. (This is also the guy who told me babies were so easy he didn’t see what all the fuss was about and then when our baby came and had colic, he wanted to cry right along with her.) Our playdates are more like, the kids play nice for five minutes until they get bored with each other than the babies start trying to eat things they find and the older babies fight over the little babies toys. Kids get hungry or cry or need diaper changes and one kid always wanders off so their mom has to chase after them. We moms do get to talk, but it is usually about our kids. Moms like grown up time too. Which got me thinking, what if moms had time without the kids and the dads had the playdate instead? Would dads attend playdates? I don’t mean a dad goes to a playdate with other moms, I mean a dad going to playdates with other dads? Does that happen? Well I know my husband pretty well, so I do not think he would go to a playdate with other dads. He would probably be afraid the other dads would be judging him the whole time. When it comes to the baby, my husband is very self-conscious. He is afraid people will judge if he is doing something wrong with her. Is he not holding her right when feeding her? Did he put her diaper on wrong? If she doesn’t smile at his being silly, is he a bad dad? He is very competitive and has to be really good at everything, so when it comes to being a dad, it seems like he thinks he falls short because it doesn’t come easy to him. I imagine if a bunch of dads had a playdate, there would be diaper races – who could change baby fastest or maybe some baby bench pressing – who can lift baby more depending on weights of all babies and number of times lifted. Nope my husband would not go. My husband likes to be in control of everything and when he has the baby, she is always in control. He thinks he is a parenting genius and has all these suggestions of what should be done, until he has to do these things himself and then he does whatever it is that makes baby happy. So maybe other dads can go to playdates and even be stay-at-home-dads, but not my husband. He would not survive.

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